Monday, March 4, 2013

It's the little things...

Red Couch Project Set 8 (13 of 19)
My Aspie daughter and I have been having some friction in the last little while.

I don't know to keep sane when my Aspie daughter runs as fast as she can through the house and leaps onto the sofa, ignoring my pleas and demands and everything else as she stops, turns and then runs like a jet engine the other way to start the run again.

I find the times she repeatedly interrupts me or anyone else while we are having a conversation just absolutely aggravating.  And no matter how hard you try to tell her to wait and not interrupt, she insist that she needs on speak now.

There are also the times that she is told not to jump on the sofa, and says she wasn't "jumping", she was "hopping" and the argument goes on and on as she finds some part of what I am labelling that doesn't match her interpretation of it.


Then it hit me. I am having a hard time with some of these things because of my Aspie rigidity. She is invading my sense of right and wrong, just as she feels I am invading her sense of right and wrong.

There are so many times that the Aspie dance we do is a beautiful and interesting and intriguing one as we are two similar souls, that share unique to both of us traits. And there are other times where it is like we are on a merry-go round that is going at top speed, and we are both trying to hold on, while also trying to get onto a horse.

I love my daughter very much, and the last year has made me especially fond of her uniqueness and her brilliance and her poise and eloquence. It has been special to both of us to know that we share being Aspies. It has bonded us together like nothing else has.

I need to remember that she is a child, a brilliant child, but a child. She is in a world that does not work or think like she does. I have had 37 years to learn how to tread water in this world, and I have been conditioned to what I think the world expects of me, and I can't expect her to know all these things yet. And maybe some of these things that I have been conditioned to are not important, and she and I both need to learn how to be ourselves in the world.

Being an Aspie is nothing to be ashamed of. It has its many challenges, especially in dealing with people in the world, but it is a good thing that does not need to be "cured". I need to stop thinking that I need to help fix her. I need to help guide her, navigate her through this world that is terribly mixed up in our eyes.

I hope if you are reading this that you can see the incredible beauty and value that is in anyone who has Autism. If you have Aspergers, take heart, and step back, and enjoy your uniqueness and your gifts that you have been given in this world.

I can't wait to see my daughter grow!